My Kid Freaks Out During Swim Lessons – What is Going On?
So, you’ve just signed up your child for swim lessons – congratulations! Learning how to swim is an essential safety skill for young children. Just knowing the basics – rolling over, floating, knowing how to grab a wall and climb out – could save your child’s life. The only problem is that getting them to the lesson is like wrangling a feral raccoon. They scream, they cry, they kick their feet in protest, they cling to their car seat with the strength of a comic superhero, which makes you, in turn, the supervillain. After all that, you’re forced to watch your child throw the same fit in the pool with their instructor. You can feel the side-eyes from other parents in the room. Are you a terrible parent? Are you paying for your child to be tortured every week?
Take a deep breath. You’re doing the right thing. Here are reasons why your child might cry during a swim lesson that have nothing to do with you, or your swim instructor, being evil, heartless people.
Separation anxiety
If your child is four years or under, chances are their blood-curdling shrieks and fountain tears have nothing to do with the pool; they’re freaking out because you’re not in it with them. Separation anxiety is the most common cause of poolside temper tantrums in beginner swimmers. Over the course of a few lessons, they will bond with their swim instructor and the separation from mom, dad, or nanny will become smoother. In the meantime, try to remain out of sight. You might think that being visible is a source of comfort for your child, but the opposite is typically true. If they know you can see them, your child will spend the entire lesson trying to get your attention. Instead, lean back. Take a break. They will be back to monopolizing your attention span in less than thirty minutes. Until then, we got this.
Sensory issues
Before learning how to swim, your child needs to be comfortable in the water. This sounds simpler than it is. I know what you’re thinking: my kid loves taking baths at home, my kid always has a blast at the pool in their floaties – why would they be upset about being in the water? It’s probable that your child doesn’t usually put their whole face in their bubbly bathwater, and the floaties keep their ears nice and dry. Experienced swimmers are used to inadvertently snorting an ounce of chlorinated water up their nose and shaking out a clogged ear. Your child feels the temporary stinging in their nostrils and thinks they’re about to turn into Voldemort. It takes repeated exposure to learn that getting water in your eyes, ears, nose, and mouth is unpleasant, but not dangerous. Until then, expect your child to react to submerging their head in the water with ear-splitting demonstrations of discontent. This, too, shall pass.
Fear and lack of confidence
A lot of kids come to swim lessons with baggage. If your child has ever wandered into the deep end, been caught up in a wave at the beach, or felt their hand slip out of your grasp at the local pool and struggled for a few seconds before you grabbed it again, they might associate independence in the water with terrible danger. Now, not only do they need to learn how to kick, pull, and hold their breath, they need to confront their specific fear. Sometimes, there is no previous trauma, and the fear isn’t about drowning. Your child could be anxious, convinced that they’re not old enough or strong enough to swim on their own. Facing your fears is challenging even for adults who are equipped with logic, reason, and emotional intelligence. It is normal, even if painful to watch, for your child to scream and cry and thrash when pushed to do hard, scary things. Know that on the other side of this, your child will feel more confident in the water and in life. They will be safer, happier, and have a lot more fun – and so will you.
